


Dancing

by Blackened_Wings



Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Alternate Ending, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-12
Updated: 2014-09-12
Packaged: 2018-02-17 04:04:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,624
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2295917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackened_Wings/pseuds/Blackened_Wings
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>An alternate ending to the Mass Effect Trilogy. Originally posted on Fanfiction.com</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dancing

“Hey.” Shepard said quietly as Kaidan stepped into the room. She leaned against the wall, the crumbling wall that looked as if it could hardly support its own weight, let alone hers. She smiled at him, but the fear of what she had to do was evident in her eyes. Maybe it was only obvious to him. He was sure that she hid it for everyone else, but she had always let him in just a bit farther than anyone else.  
“How are you?”  
“Fine.” She lied. Kaidan didn’t press her. She was a strong woman, and Kaidan often wondered whether she was too strong. Did that strength hurt her, keep her from living, push her into someone ready to explode with emotion? She needed to let someone in, but she was determined to take the burden on herself alone, to let everyone else believe they shouldered it without really letting them feel the weight.  
“I just wanted to make sure, you know… just in case.”  
“Thanks.” Shepard couldn’t quite meet his eyes. She didn’t like lying to him. He knew that.  
Kaidan stared at the destruction around him; this probably wasn’t even the worst of the damage from the Reapers. It looked bad here, but… well, he didn’t want to think about it. Shepard was surveying the damage as well, her green eyes tracing the lines of buildings that had once stretched so much taller.  
“Have I ever told you… I love you?” Kaidan asked quietly, staring at the posture that begged to slouch, to curl up in a ball, but she forced it straight. She forced it to remain confident and poised, ready. Even though they’d been together during their battle against Saren, he’d always been afraid to say the words. And then she was with Cerberus… he’d never gotten over either of those things, but now Cerberus didn’t seem to matter.  
She chuckled quietly. “Not consciously. But on a few of the missions, when we had to sleep on planet… in your sleep. I didn’t mean to listen, but…” Her face fell. He knew she hadn’t been sleeping well. So much duty had to make it difficult to breathe, let alone sleep.  
Kaidan blushed. “Oh. Well, I love you.”  
Shepard didn’t answer immediately, and Kaidan’s heart fell just a little. Here, at the end of the world, a girl’s rejection could still make him feel worse.  
“I don’t mean to… Kaidan, I just can’t deal with this right now, alright?” She smiled sadly at the man with dark brown eyes, eyes that seemed to beg her to accept him. “If… if we live through this… Then I’ll tell you.” Her eyes glistened as she said the words, despite her best efforts. Kaidan took a step forward before stopping himself. She didn’t want him around at the moment, so he wouldn’t bother her.  
“I understand… Commander.” He forced himself back into the formal address, instead of the more personal ‘Shepard.’  
“No, don’t Kaidan, please… don’t be mad.” She stepped forward two steps, stopping herself a foot from her sometimes friend. “I just…” She couldn’t say the last words; it was too out of character, too wrong on her tongue. She couldn’t tell him that she was afraid. She couldn’t tell him that she didn’t expect to come back. Oh, she wanted to, desperately; she wanted to come back and tell him her true feelings. But she couldn’t promise that, and so she couldn’t give him that happiness only to rip it away again. Besides, could they ever really get over the distrust that had severed them in the first place?  
Kaidan softened and closed the distance between them. “I understand.” He said quietly. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, but he didn’t want to push this too far. He could see her trembling, could see the fear that was buried deep in her eyes and the tears that threatened to escape if she didn’t work so hard to keep control.  
“Thank you.” She whispered. “I’ll… Go ahead. Anderson is waiting, I’ll be there in a minute.”  
Kaidan wasn’t sure he wanted her to be alone right now, but he didn’t really have a choice; he nodded and walked away, leaving her alone in the room with a view of the invaded skies.  
Shepard had just turned back to the wall when she heard more footsteps. Most of them paused, presumably when they saw the legendary commander Shepard, but then they continued on. She was distinctly aware of when a set of feet stopped, though, and she fought to hold back the tears. No more, please. She didn’t think she could deal with anyone else begging for words from her. She didn’t have words, she only had the gun strapped to her back and her battle instinct.  
“Are you coming?” Garrus’s voice was low, undemanding. He had always asked so little of her, but she was afraid this would be one of those times when he did need something from her, and she didn’t have anything more to give. Kaidan had been hard enough, and that had been years ago. Garrus was still fresh, but still painful. It just… it was never meant to be.  
“Yeah. Yeah, just a minute.”  
“Shepard…”  
“Yes?” She forced herself to stare at the wall, to keep the tears from falling. She didn’t want to say goodbye to this man, who had stuck with her through everything. This man who had never left her, even after she had worked with Cerberus, even after they had broken it off.  
“You’re not alone. You have friends.”  
“I know.”  
“Just… thought you should know. We’re with you to the end.”  
“Thanks.” She felt his hand on her shoulder, and she turned to look at him. Here he was again, offering everything and asking for nothing. She couldn’t have asked for a better companion.  
“Just don’t give up yet, Shepard.” He said quietly. “You’ll make it through this.”  
But if she did make it through this… at what cost? Would she lose Garrus? Kaidan? Joker? They wouldn’t get through this with minimal casualties. She couldn’t expect anyone to come out alive, because if they didn’t… she didn’t think she could get over it. Ashley had been hard enough, and they’d never quite gotten along. What about these people that she’d grown so close to, done so much with?  
Garrus squeezed her shoulder once before heading off to the meeting, leaving her alone once again. She could feel the tears spill over her cheeks and she hurriedly turned back to the wall, attempting to hide her weakness. She needed to be strong. Everyone saw her as a hero, she couldn’t let them down.  
One more set of footsteps entering, kicking at the rubble on the ground. Shepard reached up and wiped the tears off of her face before this final person saw. She’d been expecting him. They’d gotten pretty close lately, but she’d never been able to get much farther than flirting; she was afraid to get close to anyone, with the danger so close, but he’d just kind of crept up on her.  
“I wondered when you’d decide to show up.” She tried to keep her voice light, but she knew there was a heaviness to it that he would pick up on.  
“I do what I want, Lola. You know that.” He chuckled quietly, but she couldn’t look at him. She was sure tear tracks still glistened on her cheeks. “What are you doing out here?”  
“Just… thinking.” She answered quietly.  
“Oh really? You can’t lie to me, Lola.” He wrapped his arms around her waist, not bothering to worry about personal bubbles or keeping up appearances.  
“Worried. Afraid.” She said quietly, admitting the deepest parts of herself to this man she had somehow found in the midst of a reaper invasion. “How are you holding up?”  
“I’m ready to bash some Reaper brains. It’ll be fine, Lola, don’t worry about it.”  
“Easy for you to say, soldier.” She chuckled, but it was forced. He could tell.  
“Listen, I know you have all of these other males vying for your attention, but I thought… well, chica, we don’t have much longer.”  
“Please…” Shepard couldn’t manage to tell him off, though. Kaidan it was easier, because she’d had to get over him once. Garrus made it easy on her, just like he always had. She hadn’t even had a chance to be with Vega, she didn’t think she could take the ‘I love you’ speech from him. But some part of her wanted to know if they would have had a chance, if this thing hadn’t been as bad as they’d known it would be.  
“If we didn’t have to do this thing, I would have followed you anywhere. You know that, right?”  
“Yes.” Shepard whispered. She turned around in his arms and stared up at him. “And I you.” She couldn’t say the three words that counted, but he knew that they were there, just behind her lips, and he accepted that.  
She couldn’t have asked for anything else.  
“When you get back, though, Lola, I expect a long awaited and much anticipated date. Try not to come back maimed or anything, because I figure we’ll probably go dancing.”  
Shepard laughed quietly. “Whatever you say, James.”  
He didn’t hesitate when he leaned down to kiss her forehead, gently. “You’ll get more on our date. That’s just incentive.” She couldn’t stop the smile as he let her go and walked into the meeting room.  
She could do this. She’d just needed him to tell her so.  
She walked into the room where Anderson waited to give them all the rundown. James didn’t let his eyes leave her until she disappeared into the Reaper ship, to do what he hadn’t been able to.

 

\---  
James was never able to find her body, so they casket they buried in the Citadel was empty.  
The funeral was well attended, of course; the hero of the galaxy, the one who had stopped Saren, had stopped Cerberus, had stopped the Reapers. But most of them came only out of respect, not out of love. The three men in the front were accompanied by her crew and Anderson, the only ones who had known her on any kind of personal level.  
Of course, Kaidan was crying. James was a little disgusted by the man who had turned his back on Shepard, but he couldn’t begrudge him the tears. Garrus’s face was a stoic mask, although James had to admit that he didn’t have much experience judging the emotions of aliens.  
James didn’t let the sobs break until the funeral was over and he was alone at her grave. Everyone had gone to mourn their own lost family members and friends, but James couldn’t bring himself to leave her.  
“You skipped out on our date, Lola.” He said quietly, staring at the intricate grave marker and the fresh dirt, still damp. “I thought I told you it was expected, not to get maimed so we could go dancing. Probably drink more than our weight, too, just to forget… but we were supposed to forget together. It’s just pathetic when I go drinking alone, mi amor.  
“I don’t blame you, Lola, I don’t. I just wish you would have just stayed down when you fell. I could have gotten you, protected you… We could have gone together, if you would have waited un momento for me.  
“So, I’m going to be completely honest here. You were the first girl… well, I’ve not been especially lucky in the girlfriend department. I guess this isn’t really any exception. But you would have been the first… in that department…”  
Vega trailed off, staring at the words that were written on her marker; ‘Hero, Soldier, Friend. The woman who saved us all.’ James had argued that it wasn’t enough, but only half-heartedly; he didn’t really have a way with words, and he didn’t know what else to put there. Kaidan had been alright with it, when he wasn’t balling his eyes out, and Garrus had just been quiet, probably stuck in the same situation that Vega had been. How do you describe a woman like her? You don’t. You can’t.  
James felt the tears that had been hiding through the funeral, been kept back since he’d heard the news; Shepard was gone, presumed dead. It seemed final now.  
“¡Maldito sea, Lola! I haven’t cried since… I can’t even remember when.”  
James spent a while longer staring at the grave before sighing and making his way back to Huerta Memorial. He still had some injuries that needed tending, but they hadn’t dared tell him that he couldn’t go to the funeral, and they were probably a little afraid to come find him. He’d made it pretty clear that he didn’t want to be disturbed.  
As soon as he walked in, they hurried to him and asked him to go to one of the various exam rooms. He complied, because he was feeling a little weak. He wasn’t convinced that the weakness was because of his injuries, but it didn’t really matter.  
He sat down obediently on the bed, and nurses began stripping the bandages that had been hastily applied in order to disinfect and rebandage them. A doctor checked his vitals and ran some tests, but James didn’t really pay much attention. He stared out the glass door to his room and let his mind wander.  
His attention was caught by a commotion outside the door; a soldier that was in critical condition, it seemed. The doctors were forced to begin working in the hall outside Vega’s room, but James assumed it wouldn’t be long before they asked him to step out. He didn’t mind giving up his room, because he still didn’t think all the fuss over him was necessary.  
“Mr. Vega, would you mind-“  
“Of course.” Vega stood as they tied off the last bandage, one that had obscured the tattoo on his bicep. He pulled his shirt back over his head and a nurse grabbed his arm, leading him out into the hall. She was explaining that they’d need to see him in again soon, to check the healing process and do a second checkup, just to make sure.  
James stopped hearing what they said as he got a glimpse of the soldier in the hall, the one he was giving his room up for. Shepard.  
She looked bad; her face was swollen and bruised, there was blood everywhere from various scrapes and wounds, but he would recognize her anywhere. She was alive.  
“Shepard.” The name slipped from his lips as he stared at her. Her eyelashes fluttered, but otherwise she didn’t respond. Vega suddenly found it hard to stand, and the nurse cried for help as he collapsed. They buzzed around him, checking to make sure he was fine, but there was nothing wrong with him medically, unless your heart stopping is something wrong. He was pretty sure it had stopped as soon as he saw her face.  
There was no way. Where had she been? How had she survived? He had seen it…  
“Lola.” He breathed as they rolled her bed into the room to begin working on her. Suddenly everything went black.

 

\---  
James woke up later in a bed in the hall, right outside of the room… that room. He tried to sit up, but pain in his head stopped him. A nurse rushed up to him and began describing what had happened, explaining the medical terminology, but he didn’t understand most of it and he didn’t care.  
“How’s Shepard?”  
“Sir, I-“  
“How’s Shepard?” He demanded. She seemed startled by the harsh tone, but after a moment she answered.  
“She’s in bad shape, but they think she’ll make… well, she’ll recover.”  
“What do you mean?”  
“They’re not sure she’ll be able to go back into the field, but she’ll live.”  
“Why not?”  
“A heart condition; she won’t be able to take the intensity like she’s been doing.”  
“Oh.” James felt relief sink through her. They could live with that. They could settle down somewhere and live off of the vids and promotional whatever that would come with being the hero of the galaxy. They could live normal lives…  
“Can I see her?”  
“It’s not advised-“  
“Can I see her.” It wasn’t a question anymore, and the nurse seemed to realize it. She scuttled away to talk to a doctor, who nodded briskly. She returned to Vega as he was sitting up again, and immediately she scolded him for attempting to do this on his own. She grabbed his arm and helped him into the room, setting him on a chair next to the bed. It hurt to see her like this, but at least he was seeing her; he couldn’t complain too much.  
“She’s in a coma right now; her body’s working hard to repair itself. The doctor thinks if you talk to her, she may find her way back.” The nurse explained. Then she told him she would find him some pain medication for his head and hurried out of the room.  
James stared at her face, the swollen eye, the bruises across her cheekbones, the stitches across her left eyebrow and from her right eye to the corner of her lips.  
“Lola, I told you not to come back to me maimed.” He said quietly, laughter just hidden in his voice. She was going to be okay. She was going to be okay.  
“Listen, I never told you that I love you, but I do. And if you can hear me right now… well, I’d like an answer, mi amor. So you should wake up quick and just tell me, because I’ve been mourning you and staring at your grave. That was pretty rude, Lola. So you owe me.” James stood, flinching as his head throbbed. He walked closer to the bed, stroking the hair out of her eyes, running his fingers lightly across her cheek. She didn’t move, but he didn’t let that disappoint him. He took her hand, rubbing his thumb over the back.  
“We’re fine, Lola. Garrus and Kaidan, Jack and Joker, all of us. Thane lived long enough to learn that you’d beat them before he passed, but that was his disease, mi amor, not the Reapers. Now that you’re back… they haven’t taken any of us. We all made it.”  
“Damn right.” The words were just barely a whisper, but James heard them, had seen her lips move.  
“Cocky, aren’t we?” James’s smile was probably a little too big for his face, but he couldn’t control it.  
“I have a right to be.” The left corner of her mouth twitched up, and her one eye fluttered open. “You took a beating, Vega.”  
“Look who’s talking.” He smiled and squeezed her hand gently. “Glad you’re back.”  
“I couldn’t leave you to dance alone, now could I?” She chuckled, but it seemed to pain her and she stopped rather quickly.  
“Thanks for that.” The nurse came in behind him and handed him the paper cups, one with medication and one with water to wash it down. She began scolding him for standing, pushing him back to the chair.  
“Come on, Vega.” Shepard whispered, and the nurse stopped. She stared at Shepard, and then ran out to find a doctor.  
“Now you’ve done it, mi amor. They’re going to give you the whole treatment.”  
Shepard didn’t have a chance to answer as the doctor came in, surrounded by way too many other staff members clamoring to get a look at the resurrected hero.  
James faded into the background, but he didn’t take his eyes off of her. Never again would he lose her like that.

 

\---  
“James!” Shepard’s voice called him back to his senses. He stood up from the ridiculously comfortable chair and made his way to the kitchen, where Shepard was attempting to wrestle a ham to submission. James couldn’t help but laugh as his wife tried to fix them dinner. The cook had gone out for the day, and of course today was the day the crew decided to come check on them, make sure Shepard was doing alright. She had wanted to make something special for them all, but she had absolutely no talent in the kitchen.  
“Lola, don’t worry about it. We can order out. Or better yet, make them bring their own food.”  
Shepard chuckled. She had two scars on her face that hadn’t been there before, and she still had trouble with strenuous activities, but she was almost there. She had taken the news of her retirement very well, and although she sometimes seemed a little bored, James could tell she was happy with her life. She’d had enough adventure and danger to last many lifetimes, and she was happy to relax with James for the rest of the time she had.  
“You can go ahead and tell Joker that, I’m sure he’ll listen.”  
“Then he doesn’t get to eat.” James answered, a smile touching his lips as well. He wrapped an arm around her waist and kissed her once on the lips. “Besides, they’re intruding on us, so we don’t owe them anything.”  
“I have missed them… but you’re right.” She kissed him once more. “And tonight we were finally going to go dancing.”  
“We still could.”  
“You know they’ll tear apart the house if we leave them alone.”  
“I’ll beat them down if they try. I’ve still got the M-9 Tempest in the basement.”  
Shepard just smiled at him. And to think they’d almost lost all of this. It overwhelmed James every time he thought about it. But he couldn’t imagine life without her in it.

**Author's Note:**

> This is probably just a one shot. A little thing I wrote to content myself with the ending.


End file.
